Finding Belonging in Your Academic Environment

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humans are social creatures we need to

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feel a positive connection to others

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some of us need more people or more

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social time than others but we all need

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it to some degree belonging means we're

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not alone we have support a community to

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rely on and people to laugh with we feel

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valued understood respected and

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connected but what does that have to do

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with college research by Greg Walton and

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his colleagues tells us that people get

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motivation from a sense of belonging in

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an intellectual community students who

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feel a connection to other students and

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their instructors are more motivated in

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school they participate more in class

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and they try harder in the face of

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challenges simply put when we feel like

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we belong we engage more and we get more

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out of college okay so what happens if

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we feel like we don't

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belong studies suggest that when

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students aren't sure if they belong and

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an academic context they may not take

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advantage of certain resources like

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asking for help going to office hours or

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joining a study group resources that are

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social in

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nature as a result not using these

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resources and not getting help when they

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need it may get in the way of their

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performance in addition students who

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feel like they don't belong may not take

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advantage of certain opportunities that

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arise around them they may not reach out

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to instructors about independent study

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or research opportunities or ask for

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letters of recommendation they may feel

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like certain jobs or internships are

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meant for other students rather than for

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them as you can tell feeling like you

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don't belong in college can have big

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impacts and we want to be really clear

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in some cases a lack of belonging is a

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result of systems or structures that are

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out of our control it's not that people

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who feel like they don't belong are doing

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anything wrong there can be lots of

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reasons people don't feel connected but

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among these reasons there might be some

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things that individuals can do that's

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what we want to focus on for the rest of

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this topic we'll focus on the things you

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can control we'll talk about the ways

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you can try to actively develop a sense

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of belonging belonging researchers have

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found two important things first it's

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very common to feel like you don't

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belong at some point way more common

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than you might expect and second there

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are some ways to overcome the feeling

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that you don't belong researchers have

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worked hard to develop and study

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interventions that help students develop

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a sense of belonging we'll describe what

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they found so that you might incorporate

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some of the ideas into your life too

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we're not saying these are magic and

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will help you overnight but if you work

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on changing how you think about

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belonging and make small changes in your

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behavior over time you may see a

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difference here are a few ideas First

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Look for ways you're similar when you're

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in social situations and and you're not

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sure you belong try to find something

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you have in common with others around

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you even small stuff can help you feel

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the beginning of a connection like where

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you're from if you like cats or dogs if

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you have siblings TV shows or movies

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you've watched favorite foods and so on

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at the very least it's an opening for

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you to get to know someone better second

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remember that everyone feels uncertain

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about whether they belong at some point

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even people you perceive to be in the in

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group third remember that feeling like

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you belong takes time and effort rather

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than having an All or Nothing mindset

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about belonging where an event is either

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evidence for or against you belonging

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try to think of it as a process that

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develops over time the efforts you make

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like actively getting to know people and

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putting yourself out there will help you

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develop close trusting relationships

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with people and build your sense of

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belonging over

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time next reach out to others who may

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have experienced what your going through

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hearing other people's perspectives and

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experiences can be really helpful and

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validating they may show you that you're

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not alone in your experiences that you

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do belong and whatever happened is not a

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sign that you don't belong here and they

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can tell you what they did to foster

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their own sense of

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belonging fifth try not to blame

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yourself if we don't have a sense of

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belonging we can internalize situations

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that are ambiguous in other words when

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when we're unsure about a social

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situation we might think it's due to

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something about ourselves rather than

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the situation chance or something about

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the other person for example if an

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instructor doesn't call on you when you

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raise your hand you might think she

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doesn't value my contributions rather

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than she didn't see me in these moments

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we could take it as a sign that we don't

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belong but really it's a common and

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often harmless occurrence if you have an

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experience like this try to shift your

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thinking away from it's just me Instead

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try to think more like maybe there are

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other explanations and it takes time to

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adjust to college and making friends

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takes effort and time try to be patient

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and gentle with yourself and remember

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that many people have experienced the

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same situations and that it can get

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better sometimes what people experience

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goes beyond a simple sense of belonging

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for example if people's feelings of not

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fitting in are long lasting leak into

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other parts of their lives and really

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get in the way of they're thriving or if

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people are experiencing microaggressions

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or being bullied or discriminated

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against and quite literally feel like

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they don't belong there if you ever feel

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any of these it may be worth getting

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help from a family member instructor

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advisor or counselor