Overcoming Academic Perfectionism

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a lot of people say they're

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perfectionist sometimes they're talking

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about a harmless version they mean they

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set goals and have high standards and

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they're motivated to keep doing better

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this is the kind of striving for

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excellence that feels good and

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fulfilling on the other hand there's

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also kind of perfectionism where people

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have unrealistic goals and standards

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this kind of striving for perfection can

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make people feel like a failure or avoid

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situations where they may not achieve

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perfection this second kind also called

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maladaptive perfectionism can really get

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in people's way

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academically it can actually lower their

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achievement because it brings about

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higher stress and anxiety instead of

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feeling motivated and energized to do

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better they tend to fall into negative

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thought patterns and become preoccupied

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with failure in this video we'll talk

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about maladaptive perfectionism and two

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ways to overcome it adopting a growth

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mindset and learning to embrace your

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imperfections as we just mentioned

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maladaptive perfectionism can be

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destructive but with a growth mindset

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you might be able to change the way you

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think about yourself and move away from

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self-defeating thoughts to more

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forgiving encouraging ones in other

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words instead of saying that's not good

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enough to yourself you can say I'll keep

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getting better this may seem like a

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small difference but it can make a big

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impact on your well-being and

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self-confidence a psychologist at

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Stanford named Carol Dweck has done a lot

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of research on the growth mindset she

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and her colleagues have found that

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people can pick up all kinds of skills

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by learning effective strategies and

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putting in the effort to improve the

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coolest part our brains actually

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literally physically change when we

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learn things for example the brain

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structure of London taxi drivers

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actually changed after four years of

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navigating those winding city streets

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another example is of the veterans from

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a war torn country whose brains got

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larger after they learned to read as

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adults what happens when people truly

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believe that success is based on effort

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and good strategies they're more

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tenacious and better able to develop

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their abilities over time adopting a

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growth mindset might protect people

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against things like depression burnout

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or school

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disengagement you've probably heard of

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it but how can you develop a growth

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mindset first try to truly believe and

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remind yourself of three

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things our brains change when we learn

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your brain is literally physically

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changing when you learn things effort

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and practice matter think about the

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first time you've done anything compared

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to the 10th time remind yourself you'll

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get better each

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time struggling is a part of learning if

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you know exactly how to do something

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you're not learning anything to learn

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you have to struggle and make mistakes

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and figure out new ways to solve a

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problem it should feel like an exercise

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for your brain second expand the

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strategies you try when you're stuck on

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something you're learning don't just

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keep doing the same thing over and over

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instead step back and try a new

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approach for example try to look at

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things a different way by drawing a

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picture or a

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diagram try looking it up on the

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internet or watch videos to learn more

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about the topic you could talk it

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through with another student or an

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instructor and if you're really stuck

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seek out a mentor or tutor to help

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you somewhere deep inside your brain you

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know no one is

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perfect even so you may still have times

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where you want things to be perfect or

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your work to be perfect and in that same

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place deep inside your brain you also

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know it's not always going to work out

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that way so what can you do instead we

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have five ideas first give give yourself

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credit for your success saying I got

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lucky doesn't give you credit for how

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hard you studied also focusing on one

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bad grade undermines the importance of

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all the other amazing things you've done

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in your life try to tip your inner

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dialogue more toward the positive what

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are your strengths what have you done

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that you're really proud of here are

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some ways you could celebrate your

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successes more when you have a good

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moment or feel something positive write

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it on a sticky note and then post it on

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your wall or save them in a notebook

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every time you think something negative

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about yourself catch it and follow it up

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with three things that you're proud of

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reward yourself for things like taking

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risks stepping outside your comfort zone

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or dealing better with failure than you

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did the last

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time lastly pick someone you can tell

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these things to maybe it's your mom

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maybe it's a friend who also struggles

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with perfectionism make an agreement

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like let's make it okay for us to react

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to each other and be happy for each

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other to

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accomplishments second be as kind to

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yourself as you would be to a friend or

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even a stranger if you do make a mistake

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or get a bad grade give yourself a

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moment to reflect but try to keep it

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productive with Improvement in mind and

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without judgment and shame to do that

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imagine you were talking to a friend or

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Stranger in your same situation in that

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case you'd probably use more careful

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less inflammatory language you'd

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probably give them more encouragement

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and credit for their success as an

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example saying I suck is not productive

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and you'd never say that to a

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friend instead if you said next time

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I'll start earlier that is productive by

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saying it this way you can hold yourself

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accountable but also set a goal for what

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you can do next time third put failures

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into

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perspective but first let's talk about

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how loaded the word failure is it often

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implies that everything is ruined wind

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and there's no hope of coming back from

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it but what if it's not that simple what

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if we can fail an exam but still pass

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the class what if we get lower grades

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than we want in school but still get a

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good job it's not a complete failure

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it's imperfect it's not ideal but still

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maybe okay or good enough failure sounds

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complete and unforgiving unless we

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choose to think about it differently

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next know when to step back and reevaluate

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sometimes sticking with it isn't the

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right answer if a job a relationship a

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major or a class are bad for our mental

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health continuing to try harder could

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make things worse not better making a

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change might be the right answer

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dropping a class breaking up with

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someone switching jobs notice we said

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making a change instead of quitting

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which has the same ick Factor as failure

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for some people and we're not talking

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about dropping a class because you can't

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get an A we're talking about dropping

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a class because you're overwhelmed and

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dropping it would be a relief because

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you can focus on yourself get more sleep

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and do better on your other classes for

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example if you believe perfectionism is

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getting in the way of your well-being

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and thriving consider getting help from

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a family member instructor adviser or

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counselor only you can make this call

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but we hope you'll consider reaching out

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if any of the following are true for you

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your perfectionism shows up as high

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stress and anxiety you're struggling

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with school life balance because you

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spend excessive time planning or redoing

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school

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work you avoid taking on certain

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challenges because you want to avoid any

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possibility of failing and last but

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certainly not least you push yourself

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until you crash or burn

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out