Positive identities: Affirm your way

0:00 hi I'm Laura Morgan Roberts I'm a 0:02 professor of practice at the University 0:03 of Virginia dart in school and I'm also 0:05 a faculty affiliate for the Center for 0:07 positive organizations at the University 0:10 of Michigan in trying times our greatest 0:14 strength comes from the power within 0:16 it's about how we see ourselves as 0:18 capable resourceful and caring 0:21 that's what affects our ability to adapt 0:23 rebounds connect persist and convert 0:26 substantial challenges into 0:28 opportunities for growing stronger but 0:30 how do we cultivate these positive 0:32 identities especially when our typical 0:35 routines and roles and responsibilities 0:37 have been upended you know overwhelming 0:40 stressors like those we face in trying 0:42 times can lead us to doubt our ability 0:44 to meet challenges or help others to do 0:46 the same and when this deficiency 0:48 mindset kicks in we start to focus on 0:51 scarcity we think about what's lacking 0:54 and our resources or our managers or 0:56 even ourselves for example we might tell 0:59 ourselves like I'll never make it 1:01 through this situation the things won't 1:04 ever improve I don't think I'll be as 1:05 successful as I was before these trying 1:08 times set upon me I feel I'm being 1:11 pulled in too many directions to be 1:13 truly helpful to anyone and I'm not 1:15 handling this as well as my co-workers 1:18 or peers or relatives everybody seems to 1:21 have things under control except for me 1:24 even though threatening circumstances 1:26 can trigger these identity D railing 1:29 messages and beliefs we can counteract 1:32 them with positive identity infusions 1:34 most people seek to hold positive self 1:37 views and they desire to be viewed 1:39 positively by others as well so positive 1:43 identity infusions help to redefine our 1:45 identities by using images stories and 1:48 descriptions that are considered to be 1:50 positive or valuable in some way my 1:52 colleagues professors James Denton Jeff 1:55 Buettner and I developed the give model 1:57 a positive identity based on decades of 1:59 research that explain the four most 2:02 common ways that a person might respond 2:03 positively to the question who are you 2:06 at work it's so in trying times a gift 2:09 model highlights four pathways for 2:12 cultivating into 2:13 staying positive work identities G is 2:16 for growing is for integrating D is for 2:19 virtuous action and E is for elevating 2:22 self-worth so here are some positive 2:25 messages that you can say to yourself to 2:29 affirm and cultivate positive identities 2:31 you can also use these prompts as ways 2:34 to help your co-workers and people in 2:37 your community or your family to 2:38 cultivate and sustain their positive 2:40 identities in trying times as well first 2:43 ask yourself how am i growing through 2:46 this experience think about ways that 2:48 you're making progress 2:50 sometimes gradually and other times 2:52 maybe rapidly how are you learning new 2:54 skills or developing better habits think 2:57 about ways that you're becoming stronger 2:59 through these trying times and how 3:01 others in your work organization and 3:03 community are also growing learning and 3:05 becoming stronger second how are you 3:08 integrating in trying times now I know 3:11 you might be pulled in over a wide range 3:13 of directions and you probably are 3:17 inviting your co-workers into your home 3:19 and your family life in ways that you 3:21 never anticipated now that we're all 3:24 working or so many of us are working 3:26 remotely but think about possible 3:29 synergies here how can we draw upon 3:31 resources that come from these different 3:34 parts of ourselves in our lives and how 3:37 can our authenticity and vulnerability 3:38 help us to build deeper connections with 3:41 trusted coworkers third think about how 3:44 you can engage in virtuous action in 3:47 trying times 3:49 how are you rising every day to meet 3:51 unanticipated challenges that you might 3:53 face what opportunities could you pursue 3:56 to provide compassionate care for others 3:58 during trying times maybe you can start 4:01 to develop care packages or make 4:04 donations of food or resources or other 4:07 consideration for people in your 4:08 neighborhood who need support for 4:10 displaced or furloughed workers and of 4:13 course for the people on the frontlines 4:15 like our health care professionals who 4:17 are keeping our society safe and strong 4:20 right now 4:21 virtuous actually means maintaining our 4:24 integrity by sincerely trying to 4:26 activate 4:27 our best self whatever that might be 4:29 during trying times and finally how are 4:31 you elevating your self-worth are you 4:34 focusing on your personal goals and 4:36 growth are you appreciating your own 4:38 journey and savoring opportunities to 4:41 community to contribute to others in 4:43 trying times it's important that we 4:45 resist that urge to demean ourselves or 4:48 others on the basis of social comparison 4:50 that means we might have to take a break 4:52 from social media sometimes get off of 4:54 Instagram or snapchat or other places 4:56 that make it seem like everybody else 4:58 has it all together and not angle to be 5:01 the best but just become more 5:04 strengthened by showing up as our 5:06 personal best being present and making 5:08 that honest effort to achieve collective 5:10 goals as we raise the standard for 5:13 personal and collective development 5:14 we're better equipped to inspire and 5:16 activate the best in ourselves and 5:18 others during trying times but also in 5:21 the years that follow