Getting to Know the Other Side

0:09 we finished unit one 0:10 which talks about preparing for 0:12 negotiation and 0:14 planning your negotiation strategy and 0:16 now we're ready 0:17 to move on to the actual negotiation 0:20 itself 0:21 and to look at some key tactics for 0:23 success 0:24 during the negotiation in covering this 0:28 unit 0:28 we're going to focus on three 0:31 main aspects first the importance of 0:34 getting to know the other side 0:35 at the beginning of a negotiation second 0:38 the importance of understanding your 0:40 power 0:40 and where your power comes from and then 0:43 finally and this is where we're going to 0:44 spend most of our time 0:47 what negotiation tools what 0:48 psychological tools 0:50 can you use for successful negotiation 0:54 and by the same token what are the 0:57 psychological traps 0:59 that the other side might use and that 1:01 you want to avoid 1:04 so let's start with getting to know the 1:07 other side 1:09 now this ability or willingness 1:12 to get to know the other side first 1:15 is difficult for people from some 1:18 cultures 1:19 it's often difficult for americans for 1:21 example 1:22 americans tend to be very time oriented 1:26 time is money when we go into a 1:28 different 1:29 culture often we'll set aside a set of 1:32 amount of time for the negotiation and 1:35 we want to get right down to business 1:37 we want to start talking about the deal 1:39 immediately 1:40 rather than spending the time to get 1:43 to know the other side however it's not 1:46 only americans 1:48 other cultures have similar traits 1:51 for example a few years ago i was 1:53 teaching in an executive program 1:56 and one of the participants in the 1:58 program 1:59 was a lawyer from singapore and she was 2:03 involved in the free trade negotiations 2:05 between singapore and other countries 2:08 and she explained to me that she felt 2:10 singaporeans 2:12 were very similar to americans very 2:14 linear 2:15 very task-oriented very focused 2:18 on moving right to the negotiations 2:22 and she gave an example she said that 2:24 when she and her team 2:26 traveled to india to negotiate a free 2:29 trade agreement 2:31 they completely struck out because the 2:33 indian style was so different 2:35 the indian team wanted to get to know 2:37 them as individuals wanted to 2:39 find out are these people we can trust 2:41 before diving into the details of the 2:43 negotiation 2:45 so their negotiation with the indians 2:47 completely failed 2:48 they went back to singapore they 2:50 underwent cross-cultural negotiation 2:53 training 2:53 conducted by the former ambassador from 2:56 singapore to india 2:57 and then they returned and were 3:00 successful 3:01 so it's not only the united states it's 3:03 other cultures as well 3:05 that sometimes have difficulty with this 3:08 notion of getting to know 3:09 the other side i had a little bit of 3:13 personal experience with this 3:16 i was associate dean of the michigan 3:18 business school 3:19 and in charge of executive education 3:22 and i wanted to set up an executive 3:25 center for michigan 3:27 in paris i learned that a new business 3:30 school 3:31 was being built near the grand arch in 3:34 paris 3:35 out in the la defense area and i very 3:38 much 3:39 wanted the new business school to give 3:42 me 3:43 a floor or a half a floor in their 3:46 building to conduct 3:47 executive education and i knew this 3:49 would be very 3:50 expensive because this is an expensive 3:52 part of paris 3:53 paris is an expensive city so i was 3:58 looking forward to some very difficult 4:00 negotiations 4:01 so i flew over to paris with 4:05 two faculty members and when we arrived 4:09 the president of the new university and 4:11 the dean of the business school invited 4:14 us 4:14 out for dinner we went to a quaint 4:17 little 4:18 restaurant on the left bank and we spent 4:21 an evening in the restaurant 4:24 talking not about the 4:27 lease negotiations but about other 4:29 things 4:30 and as it turned out the president of 4:32 the university 4:34 had done his doctoral dissertation on an 4:37 obscure 4:38 english poet and mystic by the name of 4:41 william blake 4:43 as it also turned out one of the faculty 4:45 members 4:46 with me was a william blake fanatic he 4:48 loved 4:49 william blake and so they spent the 4:52 entire evening 4:53 rhapsodizing about how great william 4:56 blake is the following morning 5:00 we walked into the negotiating room we 5:02 had a half day scheduled for the 5:03 negotiation 5:05 the other school basically gave us 5:08 the space we wanted we didn't have to 5:10 pay any rent 5:12 we had to pay a percentage of profits 5:13 which we knew we were going to have to 5:15 do anyway 5:16 but we got a very good deal and 5:20 i think i owe that all to william blake 5:23 even though that evening i was awfully 5:25 tired of 5:26 learning about william blake but it 5:28 resulted in a very 5:29 successful negotiation so 5:34 basic message here is 5:37 try to spend time getting to know the 5:40 other side 5:41 very important in some cultures in some 5:44 cultures 5:44 there's less reliance on a formal legal 5:48 contract 5:50 as we rely on in the west there's much 5:53 more importance 5:54 on trying to evaluate the quality of the 5:57 other side 5:58 whether you're dealing with somebody you 5:59 can trust and often this occurs 6:02 through the process of getting to know 6:04 the other side 6:05 even something as simple as a handshake 6:08 at the beginning of a negotiation can 6:11 have a positive impact 6:12 there was some recent research conducted 6:14 by professors at 6:16 harvard and chicago which concluded that 6:19 when people 6:19 started the negotiation with a handshake 6:22 at least in the west 6:23 maybe not in all countries that the 6:26 results of the negotiation 6:28 were more positive and that there was 6:30 more cooperation 6:32 between the two sides this is one final 6:35 consideration 6:36 when you're getting to know the other 6:38 side at the beginning of a negotiation 6:41 and that is try to develop your 6:42 conversational intelligence 6:45 this is some advice from an article in 6:47 the wall street journal 6:48 it's not hardcore research it's common 6:51 sense 6:52 but yet it's common sense that many of 6:54 us forget including myself 6:57 and that is advice such as when you're 6:59 meeting somebody 7:00 either socially or in business try to 7:03 avoid your favorite topic 7:05 you'll end up talking too much ask a lot 7:07 of questions 7:08 people love to talk about themselves and 7:11 they'll think you're a great 7:12 conversationalist 7:14 if you talk about them and finally 7:17 listening is critical we're going to be 7:20 talking more about listening 7:22 but here you have some cues from mr 7:25 nainan say things such as so you think 7:29 that 7:29 so what you're saying is a conversation 7:32 can go on 7:33 indefinitely as he points out so again 7:36 just some common sense tips on getting 7:39 to know 7:40 and conversation on intelligence when 7:43 you're getting to know somebody 7:44 the beginning of a negotiation or if 7:46 you're in any social 7:48 setting